Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical,
but I think I am ready to install now. What do I
Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open
your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs
running right now.Is it okay to install while they
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Customer Service Rep: What programs are running
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically
erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will
no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely
turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs
prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can
you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?
Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start
menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many
times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing
itself automatically. Is that normal?
Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive
a message that says it will reinstall for the life
of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you
have only the base program. You need to begin connecting
to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops... I have an error message already.
What should I do?
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Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM DOES
NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does
Customer Service Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's
a common problem. It means that the LOVE program
is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not
yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it
means you have to "LOVE" your own machine
before It can "LOVE"others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting
good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on
the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART"
directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT,
and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE
from all directories, and then empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with
really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor
right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE,
and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over
Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and
running. You should be able to handle it from here.
One more thing before I go...
Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everybody
you meet. They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some really neat modules
back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
Tell your friends and family
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