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Dating
Quotes
Dating is so insecure.
My last relationship,
I was always there for her
and she dumped me.
I told her about it. I said,
Remember when your grandma died?
I was there.
Remember when you flunked out of school?
I was there.
Remember when you lost your job?
I was there!
She said, I know --
you're bad luck.
Bisexuality immediately doubles
your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Seems like I am always chosen to be the 'friend'.
They can date other girls,
and go out with other girls,
but when it comes to me,
I always hear those same three words...
'let's be friends.'
And I can date other guys,
but the ones I really care about
Watching your daughter
being collected by her date
feels like handing over a million dollar
Stradivarius to a gorilla.
Yeah, I'm kind of lazy.
I'm dating a pregnant woman.
Whenever I date a guy,
I think, Is this the man I want my
children to spend their weekends with?
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right,
then there will be no second date.
Sometimes it's better to hold out
and not kiss for a long time.
I am a strong believer in kissing being
very intimate, and the minute you kiss,
the floodgates open for everything else.
It takes half the amount of time
you dated someone to get over them.
I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
I had a lot of dates but I decided to
stay home and dye my eyebrows.
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