Today I Will Tell Her I Love Her
It all started when I was 6 years old. I met a
boy while I was playing outside on my farm in California.
He was an average kind of boy that you chased and
beat up for teasing you. After that first meeting
where I beat him up, we kept on meeting and beating
each other up at the fence. That only lasted for
a little while though. After that, we would meet
at the fence all the time and were always seen together
I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet
and would just listen to what I had to say. I found
him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about
everything. In school we had separate friends but
when we got home we would always talk about what
happened in school.
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One day I told him that a guy I liked hurt me and
broke my heart. He comforted me and told me everything
would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement
and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought
of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was
something else about him that I liked. I thought
of it that night and figured that I loved him as
a good friend.
All through high school till graduation, we're
always together and I thought it was normal as we
were good friends. But I knew deep inside that I
really felt differently. On graduation night, even
though we had different dates for the prom, I really
wanted to be with him. After everybody went home
that night, I went to his house and told him that
I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big
chance and all I did was just sit there with him
watching the stars and talking about our future
plans instead. I looked into his eyes and listened
to him talk about his dreams. He wanted to get married
and settle down. He also said he wanted to be rich
and successful. I told him about my dreams and cuddle
next to him.
I went home hurt because I didn't tell him how
I felt about him. I wanted to tell him that I love
him so badly but I was too scared and frightened
to do so. I decided to let my feelings go and told
myself that someday I would tell him how I felt.
All through college, I wanted to tell him about
my feelings but he always had someone with him.
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After graduation, he got a job in New York. I was
happy for him but at the same time I was sad to
see him go. I was also sad because I didn't tell
him how I felt. Nevertheless, I couldn't let him
know then as he was leaving for his big job. Hence,
I just kept it to myself and watched him board the
plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was
going to be the last time. I went home that night
and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't
tell him what I felt for him inside my heart.
I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way
up to be a computer analyst. I was proud of what
I had accomplished. One day, I got a letter with
an invitation to a marriage. It was from him. I
was happy and sad at the same time. I knew that
I could never be with him ever again and we could
only be friends from now on. I went to the wedding
the next month. It was a big occasion. There was
a big church wedding and grand reception at a hotel.
I met the bride and him. I fell in love when him
again on that day. But I held back so it wouldn't
spoil what should be the happiest day in his life.
I tried to have fun that night but it was killing
me inside watching him being so happy with another
person. I tried to appear to be happy to cover up
the sadness and tears inside me.
I left New York feeling that I did the right thing.
Before I left on the flight, he came running out
of nowhere and to say his goodbye and how he was
very happy to see me again. I went home and tried
to forget about what happened in New York. I had
to go on with my life. As the years went on, we
wrote to each other about our lives and how we missed
talking to each other.
On one occasion, he never wrote back even after
a long time. I got worried as I didn’t get
any reply even after writing six letters to him.
Just when I thought he had forgotten about me and
everything seemed hopeless, I got a note that said,
"Meet me at the fence where we used to talk
I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him
but he was heartbroken and sad inside. We hugged
so tightly that we couldn't breathe.
He told me about his divorce and why he hadn't
written back for a long time. He cried until he
ran out of tears. We finally went back to the house
and we talked and laughed as we catch up on old
times. Despite the good opportunity, I still couldn't
tell him how I felt about him. In the days that
followed, he had fun and forgot about his problems
and his divorce. I fell in love with him again.
When it was time for him to go back to New York,
I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see
him leave. He promised to see me every time he could
get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come
so I could be with him. We would always have fun
when we were together.
One day he didn't show up like he said he would.
I figured that he might have been busy. The days
turned into months and I forgot all about it. Until
one day, I got a call from a lawyer in New York.
The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident
on his way to the airport. It took a while for them
to settle things before calling me. It broke my
heart to hear the news. I was shocked to know what
took place. I realized why he didn't show up on
that day like he promised. I was heartbroken again.
I cried tears of sadness and heartache that night.
He was such a kind man and did not deserve to die
I gathered my things and went to New York for the
reading of his will. He left his inheritance to
his family and his ex-wife. I met her for the first
time since the wedding. She explained to me that
he was a good man and provided for the family. However,
he was always unhappy. She would try everything
but she couldn't get him to be happy like the night
at their wedding. When the will was read, I found
out he had left me a diary. It was a diary of his
life. I cried as it was given to me. I didn't know
what to think of it. Why was this given to me? I
took it and flew back to California. As I flew on
the plane, I remembered the good times that we had
together. I started reading the diary and what was
written in it.
The diary started with an entry on the day we first
met. I started to cry as I read on. He had fallen
in love with me on that day I was heartbroken. However,
he was too afraid to tell me how he felt. That was
why he kept quiet and listened to me instead. As
I continued reading through more entries, I realized
he wanted to tell me about how he felt many times
but he was always too afraid to say anything. He
mentioned that he went to New York and thought that
he fell in love with another person. But the happiest
time he had in New York was seeing me and dancing
with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was
our wedding. His later entries mentioned that he
was always unhappy as he realized he still loves
me and hence, he had no choice but to divorce his
wife. He said that the best time of his life was
to read the letters written by me to him.
He finally ended the diary with an entry, "Today
I will tell her I love her".
The entry was written on the day he was killed.
The day I was finally going to find out how he really
felt in his heart.
If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to
tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come
Tell your friends and family
about this page!
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