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Untitled Love Story Part 2
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Happy Birthday Warthog, my sweet, my dear friend
Here, for you, is this letter/poem/story I will
send
My time grows short here, this is the finish, and
this is the END
Please stay around longer so this old heart that
you broke, can fully mend
These Feelings Can Never Go Away
THESE FEELINGS CAN NEVER GO AWAY
By A. Melendez
________________________________
The feelings I have for him. The way I think of
him, the way I remember him, his soft sweet voice,
that calls for me in the night. Those wonderful
large sad eyes of his and the way they filled with
tears when I was crying into his hands begging him
not let me go again. The way his body felt against
mines, the last time we laid down together, when
his heart was touching my heart. Still hear it pounding,
still can hear him say my name…over and over
and over again. Or was it me…saying his name
over and over and over again. These feelings of
passion and want, so much want that I can’t
bear. It feels like I want to “catch up”
with the years that have past and separated us through
circumstances.
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Can this be what has made all the great star-crossed
lovers stories of the past famous? The lovers that
never got it quite right and were destined to be
torn apart and separated.
Lovers like Romeo and Juliet, Heathcliff and Catherine,
Yuri Zchivago and Lara? I’d like to think
so; I’d like to glorify this “love”
as something like that. But this is neither a movie
nor a sad song. This is a crime to my heart…
It’s a wound that does not go away. It sits
in my heart and stays with me day and night.
Soulmates I have been told. What a laugh….soulmates?
What am I learning now from this beautiful man….did
I kill him in another lifetime? Were we gladiators
fighting in a coliseum in Rome centuries ago and
as he lay down I pierced his heart with my sword?
Did I hold him captive in some dungeon every night
and tortured him? Did I love him and leave him stranded
somewhere with his heart pounding waiting for me
to return? Did I run away and never come back into
his arms again? Was that how it started?
Must have been a pain beyond your wildest imagination
because surely now, I feel the consequences and
the anguish returned to me. I have not stopped crying
since I found him, I have not thought one second
of a way to get him to “Come back to me”,
his LOVE, the one he wanted before, the girl he
longed for. I think I love him too much, if one
can love someone that much. Maybe he is weak; maybe
it’s too soon for him. All the excuses, and
still, I lie alone in my bed, thinking of HIM and
what went wrong…Fate, Destiny, Karma, Circumstances…all
words
The story starts out innocently enough…July
13, 1977
A long time ago he felt this way about me. I was
too young to know. Only a child myself, in many
ways, just beginning to learn about the power that
every young woman knows she has inside of her as
she is turning into a woman. The sexual power a
young beautiful girl has at the peak of her teen-age
years can be very strong, especially to a young
teen-age boy who was only too eager to be around
her and love her.
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He just happened to be there in July 1977 in a
small deli near one of the favorite hang outs of
all young people near the beach in Brooklyn, NY,
I met him while my Cousin and I were buying our
snacks in the morning and I heard her talking to
someone at the counter as I bought my sweet peaches
from the produce section. I heard her saying hello
and that was when I heard a voice that must sound
like what angel sounds when they talk.
At that time in my life, I took him for granted,
another one of my sweet boyfriends who were in abundance
in those early summers of my life in Brooklyn. A
very handsome, strong, tall and sexy boy that I
thought was a bit awkward but sweet, quiet but with
a gentleness that you could also find in a good
friend as well. My cousin introduced us as we walked
together along the boardwalk. The same boardwalk
that 33 years later, we would both find ourselves
walking across, in a different season. This time
there would be no bathing suits or shorts, no sunshine,
no working on our tans and no anticipation for a
“date” later on and no sitting by the
water. This time, it would be cold and bitter but
with a beautiful full moon out in the dark sky looking
down on two beautiful sweet lovers of the past that
Should Have Been.
What was I to know back then? How was I supposed
to know…that this sweet and loving boy, now
one of the most handsomest men I know, would end
up back in my life and teaching me what the words
“In Love” really means over 30 years
and 30 summers later, in my “Golden Years”
I moved around quite a bit after I left him “standing
at the beach”. I wanted to marry my first
boyfriend ever. Only a short but brief marriage
but always coming back to Brooklyn to see my family
in between breaks from my young married life. Always,
always, he was there. The sweet boy who was also
my friend and playmate as I can remember. I never
ever thought of him as anything more. We grew up
alittle together. Shared some thoughts and good
times. Always around, always someone I can speak
to about my problems, but when I think about it
now, I don’t think we ever really spoke about
any problems, there were many more years ahead for
those conversations.
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