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Only Love Part 2
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"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back
my hair.
"If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit
me??"
"Can't help it. My home is right next to your
home." He argued.
"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew
a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line
that I forbid him to cross.
That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't
stand each other and hoped the other would move
away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved.
Not only that, we got into the same high school
and into the same class.
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"You're that infamous couple." All the
students and teachers in the school would say whenever
they saw us.
"We're not!" I always tried to explain.
"We're only neighbors." At that time,
I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
"I have higher standards." He would say.
"Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not
like I don't have eyes."
"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head."
I really disliked him.
"Better than having eyes on the bottom of my
head like you." He implied that I couldn't
judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.
I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning.
After a while, I found out that the senior student
had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it,
he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly
held me in his arms.
"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly
comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night,
and began to see him in a different way. Things
began to change between us. We still fought all
the time, but he started to look at me differently.
And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was
near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything.
Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed
each other constantly. Even though we cared about
each other's every moves. Both of us refused to
admit our love.
Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation.
I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics.
Yet we still couldn't separate from each other.
Our parents are worried about us not knowing anyone
in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same
apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors.
We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the
bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still
wouldn't say we love each other. We didn't even
spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share
dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night,
he waited for me in front of my door and said that
he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day
from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant.
But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then,
we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation,
I became an intern. He started a small computer
company with some friends and became a programmer.
We were busy with our own lives and had no time
for a relationship. Three years later, I became
a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately
moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors.
On the surface, we left each other. In reality,
we were still together. We spent every Valentine's
Day together but each year became more dreary than
the next because he never told me he loved me even
with all my hints.
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Facing the empty inbox, I suddenly grew very angry.
He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card.
What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called
his cell phone.
"Hello." He picked up the phone.
"I didn't receive the card." I immediately
showed my displeasure.
"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really
busy.
"But I sent it." He was really busy but
I didn't care.
"I didn't receive it. Send it again."
"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good
enough??" He said with impatience. His tone
further infuriated me. Is that how lovers talk to
each other?
"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't
have to pick me up tonight. I'll eat dinner by myself."
"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."
"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and
tears rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation?
We've gone out for so many years and spent countless
Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers
nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card.
Is that too much to ask for??
I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned
off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.
After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the
receptionist not to forward me any phone calls.
I wanted to concentrate on work. Because there were
so many emergencies today, I was still busy 1 hour
later and forgot about our argument.
"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound
of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped
out of the door, the emergency medics hurriedly
wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st
medic. Everyone else were trying to help life the
patient onto the gurney. He was covered with blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied.
"Very serious. He may die." I nodded and
ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived,
the nurses told me that the man had already stopped
breathing and also his heartbeat had stopped.
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed
the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't
lose our calm. But when I saw who laid on the operating
table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!
"No..." I stood in shock.
"NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously
shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from
the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another
doctor, to tell him that I was out of control.
I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted
to save my lover. Even though we fought all the
time. Even though he never showed me his love. I
still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card.
He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began
to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength,
hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up.
He didn't even say "It hurts". He just
laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with
his silence.
Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time,
I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed.
I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.
"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead.
I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder.
They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced
them.
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