Real
Love Story
Cupid and Psyche Part 2
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After almost a month of wonderful conversations
with Cupid every time I walked home, I started to
feel lonely every Friday afternoons because I will
not be seeing him again for two days. I kept this
to myself and tried to push the thoughts away. I
was surprised one Friday when he told me that if
he could just erase Saturdays and Sundays on the
calendar, he would do so, and that he had never
loved Mondays in his life as much as he did at that
time. I was silenced and just gave him a weak smile.
Why in the world would I feel the same way as he
did? Why did we like the same songs? Why did I laugh
at his tiniest jokes? Why did I feel like we have
known each other for many, many years? Why can I
talk to him without pretention? Why do I hear my
heartbeat every time he speaks? He later asked the
same questions to me, and I refused to answer.
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It was then that I realized what it all meant,
and where that ‘madness’ could lead.
I know that what I was feeling would lead to nothing
but grief, but I did not stop. I was happy when
we are together, period. So despite our teacher-student
relationship, we still continued to be special friends.
He was my student the whole day, but after classes,
he was my Cupid. We did not talk about how we felt
for each other but just took pleasure in each other’s
presence. I had doubts, yes. But the hell I care
if he is just a kid trying to fool his cradle-snatching
teacher. I didn’t care at anything at all
because I am really, truly happy.
On my birthday, he gave me a book of flowers and
a card, addressing me as Psyche. I suppressed a
giggle and the impulse to blush and hug him. And
then after Christmas, we had a date. We dined out
and watched a movie. I knew it was out of bounds
but I also knew that my happiness will not last
long for he will soon be graduating, and that I
had to savor every moment with him. We went into
our house afterwards and I introduced him to my
mom as one of my students. That day was one of my
happiest, but I never made him know that. From the
very beginning, I always treat him as my student,
although inside I wanted to burst with all my covered
up feelings. We parted ways that day in a perfect
bliss (I was). And that was the last time that he
talked to me as my Cupid. He left me a beautiful
lamp as a Christmas present.
When classes resumed in January, he was very different.
He went back to being my student. He never talked
nor looked at me anymore. He never accompanied me
during afternoons. I cannot ask his friends why
he changed for I feel awkward and they also do not
have any idea at all. They thought that we are still
friends and still see one another. I sent him my
Christmas gift, a compilation of all the poems I
wrote, with him as my inspiration. He never said
thank you, nor gave a note, nor sent a word. Not
a hint that he had received what I gave. We only
see each other during classes, and it was always
painful for me. But I waited and waited and waited.
Every afternoon, I will stand at the same place
we used to talk, waiting for his scent to fill the
air, for his laughter to fill my ears. But he never
came.
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He only approached me on his graduation day. He
gave me a hug and thanked me for everything, as
his teacher. He never gave any explanation on what
made him indifferent towards me after that Christmas
date. I returned his embrace – as his teacher
- though it was excruciating. I forced a smile and
walked away.
I had to move on and just tried to forget what
transpired between us. I told myself that it was
my entire fault - that I made things up, that I
assumed too much. I did not blame him nor felt any
anger toward him. He was just a teenager looking
for affection and I took advantage of that. It was
my mistake because I made myself believe in something
that isn’t there. I took all the blame and
the pain. The only consolation I had was the fact
that at least I felt that certain level of happiness
when we were still together.
When I looked back at those times, all I can see
was a confused young lady. I still do not understand
why that lady chose to go through such struggle
when she already knew from the start that her illusions
were all part of a fantasy. She should have asked
Cupid why he changed. She should have tried to find
out his reasons. She should have told him that she
was hurting. She should have shown him her true
feelings. But she didn’t. And it was her fault
that I still keep dreaming about Cupid. She left
me so many unanswered questions that are quite impossible
to be answered at present. Cupid was, is and will
always be a part of me. And I wanted to keep him
in my treasure box without all the regrets and the
questions and the pain. Don’t get me wrong,
I don’t have regrets marrying my husband,
ours is a different tale. But Cupid is a memory
worth keeping for the rest of my life.
By Psyche
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