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Untitled Love Story Part 3
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As the years past, approaching my 50th year on
this planet, I started to think more about my life
and where it was going never to be fully satisfied
with one job, place to live or man to love (it’s
all a lot of oysters but no pearls). Its like the
song from U2 – “I Still haven’t
found what I’m Looking For.” Until one
day – in September 2009…. My time for
“Karmic debt repayment” began. It was
to be the worst and the most wonderful time in my
life…. my love, my wonderful, sweet and handsome
love, was sent back to me, unknowingly, through
sad news.
It was on September 22nd to be exact; that I found
out a former boyfriend of mines had passed. He was
the love of my teen-age years and I was devastated
to learn that he had died at such an early age.
It was such heartache to hear this and I cried so
much for my friend. I should of known that these
tears were but an omen, a prelude of what was to
come in the next months
.
“…Hello Its Me, I’ve thought about
us for a long, long time…”
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What is it about speaking with someone that you
have not spoken with in years that makes you nervous?
I mean, what do you say to them??? Hello, how are
you? Glad to hear your voice again? What’s
going on? When he called me and I heard his voice,
it was like hearing from a ghost, someone who was
in the past, still frozen in time….It was
very strange to me to hear this man again, this
man who I knew from when he was a boy, someone who
was just another boyfriend on the beach, a friend
of the family, this man, that I had some of my earliest
sexual experiences with, this man who is now, older,
speaking to me from across the miles and who would
eventually bring me to my knees for the true love
that I started to feel for the first time in my
small, chaotic, , miserable little life.
It Should Have Been Me.
That is all I could think about after this. Back
into my life, wow, how could I even think that this
guy would love me again? Should I play my cards
right and sit and wait. My friend…Baby, come
back to me, I would ask, beg, then we finally met
in Brooklyn – January 2010. It was to be the
happiest time in my life. It was also to be the
beginning of a love affair that was so worth waiting
for, the arguments we would have, sometimes not
talking to each other for weeks, then months. It
was the worst time in my life if I can remember
now, my bloodshot eyes, missing him not calling
me. I used to call him and leave a message for him
to call me, silence, all the while from him. Death
to me.
One time, he was ill, and I flew into LA to see
him. I had to be careful and waited until I knew
that I was to be the last of visitors. I stayed
at a nearby hotel. I was so worried. He had a problem
with his throat, he had some virus that stopped
him from working for a while. I went to see him
and he looked so tired and sad, but when he saw
me come to him, he had that sweet smile on him again.
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We were together for a few years until I fell ill.
It was my daughter who told him that I was in the
hospital. He came to see me and I was so embarrassed
that he saw me that way. I did not even want him
to come all that way. But I guess when you are in
this much love with an old friend, distance is nothing.
We came a long way from 1977 – it was no bother.
My love, who I never married, my lover, who I never
gave a son to, my long lost love who was brought
to me by Fate to love again, thank God, all I can
say, Thank God that my Love was brought to light
to see that this was all good, and worth it.
He comes by to see me, his Leyna as he always called
me, every year now. Slowly as he walks towards me,
he sits at the bench that faces me. Its been over
30 years since they laid me down to rest, as if
I could ever rest, and when I see him, I
still get that whistful feeling, like I did in life
when I knew he was going to call me, or that one
time when he visited me in my hotel room in Brooklyn
years ago for the reunion. Still with that handsome
face, sad eyes and sweet smile. He walks slower
towards me. Once, I saw him weep into his hands.
He wept so much that I thought he felt me sitting
beside him. My sweet man, so happy to see him but
wish he would not make that long pilgrimage to see
me because it was so far for him to travel. Wonderful
man, now a grandfather, loyal friend, my only love,
who as I lay here, year after year, winter and coldness,
the heat and the darkness, I still love….these
feelings that can never go away, even in death.
To My Soulmate Elio- Winter, 2010
Chandler AZ
By Amy L . Melendez
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